Thursday, April 12, 2012

Paris Sports

Although athleticism is not revered in Paris this does not mean Parisians are void of sports altogether. All the sports are practiced at a young age and training starts at birth.  

The uniform is that balance between casual and formal, where you are ready for any occasion while never looking underdressed. Wear a scarf and at least three layers. For woman the hair is to be parted at the temple. Men I don't know how you do it. No running shoes, no cleavage, no sweatpants, no take-away coffee. You should feel put together before you leave the house. You are allowed to walk brusquely but never look frazzled.  

- In the metro everyone sits up straight so everyone can fit in the seats and have a good view of every passenger. When one enters the metro car, everyone participates in the people watching sport. You feel all the eyes looking you up and down. Extra points for not flinching or blushing from the blatant unabashed piercing stares. (Staring obviously while not smiling gains extra points.)

- If a Parisian orders anything to drink as a group, when they finish this sport declares they must tell their server that it was horrible and what is the server going to do about it? (Thankfully I learned this from going out with a group of young Parisians before I started at the bar.) Now at the bar I am able to look at the almost empty, ice-melted-watery glass, look at the Parisian and say, "You're Parisian? Yeah, I know what you're trying to do". My non participation in this sport is a sad blow for many Parisians

- The third sport is smoking, the amount of second hand smoke I get in this city makes up for all the years I avoided it in Toronto. Outdoor patios, walking down the street and anywhere else they might be able to get away with it. This includes but is not limited to: metro station platforms, bathrooms, bars, parks, in your face.  

Other popular activities that are in the running for 'Paris's next sport' are:
-Making cat calls to women (think of sounds you would make to actually call a cat)
-Looking at people funny when they smile
-Wanting to fight your friend physically by waving your arms or maybe throwing a slap
-Hopping over the metro turnstile(who can jump the highest)
-At the metro turnstile body-slam the stranger in front of you so you may ride together on their ticket
-If you work in customer service pretend every potential customer is wearing an invisibility cloak
-Interrupt and talk forcefully over whatever a foreigner may have to say

1 comment:

  1. lol at cat noises to women.

    i can't stand smoking. if i see a smoker, i tend to move across the street or take a deep breath and quickly walk past them